Very SIck Boys

Well, Ayden has a double ear infection and is cutting two teeth for sure, and about four more are close...and with that Levi is sick as a dog too.  So who gets to pull the all nighters yet again?  Me! Who is up all night walking a screaming child around in the stroller alone?? Me!!!!  Don't get me wring, I'm not mad at poor Levi- he is doing everything he can to help and wishing he could do more.  I'm just mad.  I as angry as I have been in a long time and have no clue why.  Everything just pisses me off.  I'm mad at all the changes- yet again. I'm mad at the economy.  I'm mad at Sarah Palin (she really just annoys me). I'm mad at our government.  I'm mad that California doesn't have humidity or thunderstorms like the south.  I'm mad I won't live here much longer.  I'm mad that I have haven't even had a chance to be a real mom or wife...that I have had to raise Ayden alone, then get use to it and enjoy it.  It's not fair that I have to go to work and levi gets to stay home with Ayden AND get paid to do it.  Not only that- but he gets me home everyday at 6 to relieve him...I never freakin had that.  So now I feel like I am abandoning Ayden, and he is not at an age where I can explain to him why Mommy is never home.  I'm just plain old pissed off.  Not really at anyone- just life.  I know it's temporary, and I will be able to be home with Ayden soon enough, but when that happens Levi will be at the Police Academy and I will be raising him, alone...again.  

And don't give me that "it's better for the family in the long run" thing because I am fully aware of that and understand it.  I am just mad right now- tomorrow I will get over it. For now- I'm mad.  I just can't wait to go see my Mom...she always makes everything better.  I love my Mom.  Mom- I love you!